Thursday, August 14, 2008

Only three days left

Only three days left until I return.

A great couple of weeks at the coast, little time with the inlaws and now back to the war.

The minions have been busy but they do not tell me what they are working on. That's a good thing because I don't support a thing they have in mind. I don't even know their names but what they have planned should be awesome.

Well awesome if you love life more then bikes.

So to protect my job and family I will continue my new battle my way as the minions go their way.

I wish them luck..

see you in the headlines.

three days and I will be back to kick off the new push.

good luck bikers.

I would say you should be scared but by the way you ride I can see that nothing scares you.

I will post again at what I would like to call moments of victory.

No way you can all have as much fun as I am but you should try

Friday, August 8, 2008

WOW Police crack down in Rose Quarter Transit Center

Victory for me

WOW !!!!

I'm so excited to get home. Got my new cameras and my new Minions.

Will see how many headlines we can grab.

Oh joy of joys.

Get out your red spray paint

Portland is going from the best bike town to the front line is rolling back this bike madness. 


I can't tell you how excited I am

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Wow I'm growing 

I now have two minions. 

I'm no fool and I realize that if I do naughty things I could get in trouble so I now have two bad boys who will do naughty things all on their own. 

I will use the the great excuse of saying that I do not condone what they are doing however I understand it. hahahaha

The old radical apologist excuse for me please.

Because I have a life to protect job, income, family I will have to be careful.

These two minions are build like battlecruisers and have no life. They do seem to have a strong will to do wrong to bikers. I can't support them on their crazy ideas like blocking up the Hawthrone Bridge with slow moving walking people who will not yield to bikes. Or putting dead biker stickers on the seat of every bike they see I do understand their frustration.

Well I hope you are having fun in Portland... Astoria is great!

Be seeing you

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Letter to me? wow!

Here is the best example of the Emails I Have received.

I was saddened to see such time and talent spent on attacking biking in Portland. I too have had some bad experiences with bikers, drivers, and homeless people in the parks. However, for the most part I find both bikers, drivers and most homeless folks to be on the whole good people. I find that indulging outrage and hate is no substitute for a significant contribution. Why not stand up for something you believe in rather than focusing on what you hate?

Of course you're free to hate me too if you choose,


Saddened Portlander

Man this letter made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my seat.

So I will give you some insight in to how I’m thinking when I receive my countless emails like this. Stick with me to the end it gets better as we go.

(I was saddened to see such time and talent spent on attacking biking in Portland.)

This is a simple statement that my opposition to the church of bike orthodoxy as professed by the Bikenazi’s is making her sad. Not much I can say to that, statement of fact, this person is sad

Now instead of telling what specifically I am saying to make her sad or addressing an error in what I’m saying they go on to give their experience that is really not relevant to what I’m saying but lets ride along.

(I too have had some bad experiences with bikers, drivers, and homeless people in the parks)

What can you say to something like this, I don’t think I have ever addressed homeless people in my writings but ok lets play along maybe she has a point here.

(However, for the most part I find both bikers, drivers and most homeless folks to be on the whole good people.)

After the emotional plea of I’m sad, after the common experience the best I get is they are good people?

Well here is the news train pulling into your station…..You can be Wrong and a Good Person at the same time. I know this adult concept may be scary to a person who sees all opposition as evil but a person may be good, smart, rich, poor, family person, helpful and still be wrong.

I have to say that so far there is nothing of substance here other then I make her feel sad. Let’s home the next point has more juice to it.

I find that indulging outrage and hate is no substitute for a significant contribution.

Lets look back in history…hmmm better use the US history.

US 1859-61
Orthodoxy- Slavery
Outrage- Harpers Ferry: John Brown and 21 men size federal arsenal and hold out against the US until taken and executed.
Reaction- most people were saddened but the Anti-slavery factions were emboldened by this action.

Fast-forward a hundred years latter

Orthodoxy- Vietnam war
Outrage- Protestors against the war?
Reaction- Most Americans were more upset about the protestors then the war until far late in the SE Asian Struggle

Orthodoxy- Jim Crow laws
Outrage- Marches! Strikes!
Reaction- people lashed out at the reasonable demands of those wanting the vote. They didn’t want the boat rocked because they wanted to keep things going the way they were.

Orthodoxy- War in the Iraq
Outrage- Many protest and marches
Reaction- Well I was there and there was not a lot of people other then the protestors that were happy early on.

So yes I use outrage. By outrage you mean standing up. By outrage you mean challenging the myopic Orthodoxy of the Bikenazi religions that

All bikers = good
Anything limiting bikers = bad
Anyone holding them accountable for their law breaking = hate

That is an Orthodoxy that must be destroyed.

Now that bring me to the ending… are you ready?

Why not stand up for something you believe in rather than focusing on what you hate?

Again this is a chuckle. How close-minded is this person to believe that there is no way some one could look at the facts and not be a “TRUE BELIEVER” in the Orthodoxy of BIkenazis. Obviously this person is thinking that this is fueled by some secret hate engine that stems from a bad encounter with a bike… HAHAHAh

Well I ride a bike and my opposition is based in facts and observation. I know to most Americans the idea of using logic and reason and science and observation is seen as voodoo. Look at the responses to my observations.

I sit at Rose Quarter and count bikers so I have an accurate number

People make fun of the fact that I have two hours to sit around and make observations. OHHHHH yes Observations and actually numbers are scary to this scientifically stunted. Yes better to pull numbers out of my ass like most bikers do, better to use no observation. Should we ban the use of observation?

So to make sure this is not simply an anomalous response lets look at other reactions to when I said I would be on a bridge counting how many bikers have lights and how many did not. I was again attacked for wasting my time.

Yes that’s right why use observation and facts. In fact most of those responding already had a response for the failure of bikers in that observation before I even did it.

If I wanted to draw a comparison between the close minded conservative Christians who also don’t like observation. “Spend 2 months on an island in the pacific and Darwin thinks were monkeys” sort of people. I could also point out that Conservative Christians also have a response for any observation results like the big bang, Carbon dating by saying “god made it that way”

And now for the last full line.

(Of course you're free to hate me too if you choose)

Once again this person cannot fathom anything but the Orthodoxy so there is no way any human being can logically oppose the true belief. Their world only makes sense if it’s hate, hate makes sense to them.

The fact that you can oppose some one or that they can be wrong and I won’t hate does not occur to her at all. This is like Christians ending by saying “Well god believes in your” or my favorite “I will prey for you”

An them


Saddened Portlander)

You should be sad not because of anything I write but because you can’t use reason for 5 minutes in a row to see that the Orthodoxy of the Bikenazi’s will cost more lives, bread more hate and resentment of bikers.

People of outrage will always scare the Orthodoxy of the Bikenazis. They will always scare those who fear observation and facts. It will always scare those who already have an answer before all the data is collected. They will be scared because others are not drinking their close-minded kool aid.

Well that’s done and now it’s time to hit the garden.

Oh sorry I know you will want to demonize me so …lets see

Oh yes well that’s done its time to go beat the kids.

Monday, August 4, 2008

First Red Lock

During my first week of biking I learned a lot. 

1. I still love biking

2. Portland bikers are even worse then I thought.

Nothing makes bikers more mad then physics. If you point out the obvious like cars are easier to see, or bike riders have no protection, they get all uptight.

On sunday I did have to take the 4 bus. The 4 went through my most favorite place the Rose Quarter Transit Center. Once again bikers ignored the "no bike" signs and the driver of the bus had to emergency break so as not to hit a bike in his blind spot. 

At the next light the bus driver open his door and in a nice tone told the two bikers what happened. They playfully said sorry not that "Wow you just saved my life sorry." Not the "Sorry I almost forced you to crush the life out of me by squishing me to pulp with a 20 ton bus." no this was the flippant light hearted "sorry" like you would say "Sorry my frisby went on your lawn" Or  "Sorry I stepped in your way going in the door."

Everyone on the bus laughed when they said "Sorry" 

The driver shut the door and said "Why do I even try, Maybe I should just let them die" I challenged the driver on this because no one should die. He said simply "You don't deal with them like I do" 

So here is a human that is so burned out with bikers that he is honestly starting to not care if they live or die. He was not born this way, he was made this way. How was he made like this? After talking with him and hearing about what he saw every day it was obvious. Bikes made him this way. 

Now every biker will say he is evil, but this is a guy who got out of his seat to help people in wheel chairs, or parents with kids or elderly with shopping. He sang and made all his street announcements so I do not feel he was evil at all.  But when it came to bikes he just didn't care.

Now I know most bikers will blame him but the sad fact the more bikers there are the more people will be just like him. Bikers in Oregon are so bad, Bikers in Portland are so horrible they are making otherwise caring drivers hateful.

Meanwhile on the other end of the four I found something very interesting.

I have a challenge for all you bikenazi's who think all bikers walk on water.  Watch the bike lane on the East side of the bridge. Then go to the West side where they have the new Green bikes lanes. Not watch them or video tape them and tell me.

Do bikers act different in either lane? one is protected one is open and does not share the new green. All bikers treat all bike lanes that cross the road as green lanes.  

So the other question I have is this.

Bikenazis ignore their fellows who don't have lights (Cost lives)
Bikenazis ignore their fellows who don't have helmets (Cost Lives)
Bikenazis ignore their fellows who go places bike should not go (Cost Lives)
Bikenazis ignore their fellows who don't even want helmets to be required (Cost Lives)
Bikenazis ignore their fellows who coast through stop signs and lights (Cost Lives)

But man if you say something like Green boxes are silly because 99% of the time their are no bikes and they hold up traffic. Can't make a right turn over a green box. so you have to sit there holding up cars, burning gas so some bike who could be there, would have the right of way if they were there.

If you say that does not make sense they throw a brain rod and call you names and fall back to the good old. "But were saving the Earth" shit.

So if Bikenazi's can want things that cost bikers lives, why can't anyone else? Why should we let this group of idiots who can't even stop at a stop sign decide what is right and what is wrong?

Go figure.

Oh by the way while on my bike I was almost hit by biker trying to get to PSU he ran a red light. moved from side walk to road to crosswalk what ever way was easier for him. I used my first red lock on his bike. I wonder what he will will think when he comes out and sees his bike locked up with my redlock. I need more of these, this was fun.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

1 week of biking

I biked to work every day this week but one so far. I have not run any stop signs or stop lights I have a helmet on and plenty of lights on my bike. I love it even if the ride home is a pain. 

So here is my latest Bike Spotting encounter.

I stopped between third and fourth on main at the park. I relaxed there in the shade and I learned a few things about Portland. 

1. Way up in the tree in the middle of down  town Portland is a family of Racoons. I saw them way up there peeking down at me.  No one else was looking so it's my little secret. 

2. Idiots on bikes don't like this entire LANE system. Walking down to the corner of salmon and fourth and looking back up into traffic towards PSU I was able to see just how many bikers were using lanes and how many thought that the white line was a lane unto its own.
   Twice I saw a bus and once a delivery truck hemmed in on both sides by bikers squeezing between moving vehicles. One incident a bike pulled over in front of a bus making it stop had that driver swerved even a fraction the bike on the other side of the bus would have been knocked into the bus stop on the corner.
You have got to love bikers forcing 20 ton vehicles into other bikes. How safe is that.
So a three lane road is really a 7 lane road when you throw in the bikes. Nothing to fear there. No possible problems to the biker.

During this week I have interviewed a few fellow bikers to get their opinions of things. Lets see how they break down.

1. Functional Biker: Small distance commuters, day time. They admit that bikers are a problem but give that issue a pass. They focus on what they do and for the most part they do follow the law.  They are not part of any bike movement, push, gatherings. These are just people riding bikes. They will attend a bike rally or two. They believe that it would be nice to see more bike lanes and bike racks but they are happy as things are. 

2. Bike Enthusiast: This biker is in love with biking. Though not an overt crusader they fully embrace only the good image of bikes. They bike out of preference and constantly spout things about pollution and saving the earth. They acknowledge that bikers break the law but they believe that education and love will change what bikers do. They want more of everything for bikers. Many of these people own cars, maybe even have many cars.

3. Bike Activist: This is a bikenazi JR. Grade. This person feels that biking is their way to save the world. They reverse every point you can make to some other form of transportation. In other words "They break the law so we can break the law" They dismiss any proof that bikers don't comply with the law. They believe that bikers are all on the crusade and if you question this then you are part of the problem. They believe that bikers don't have to change the city has to spend more money on bike roads. They don't just want more like a number 2 they are demanding more. This person will admit they are into the bike culture of Portland. They frequent bike gatherings they read bike post they are a "True Believer" A few of these people have cars but most do not. 

4. Bike Anointed: Watch out cause here is the high priest of biking. They believe that human law can circumvent the laws of physics. They don't turn arguments around they dismiss them out of hand. They do not believe that bikers have any issue, it's all everyone else's fault. They are organizers of bike gatherings, blogs, what have you. They act as if every one else who drives (non-bike) vehicles have their hand around a kids throat and is strangling them and only BIKE'S can stop this.  To them its not about educating bikers its about educating everyone else in the world. They believe in the pure innocents of bikers and the automatic guilt of everyone else, they will not admit this but all their arguments are from this point of view. full on bike Nazi.

I am still talking to bikers to see if there is another classification but so far four seems to cover it. Here is the problem most bikers give a pass to Biker's abusing the rules of the road, either by focusing on their own issues or denial or by being an apologist. That that are active in the Bike Community are more focused on the world changing for them, rather then having bikers follow the law. 

 bike True Believer argument

1. Bikes save the world 
2. We are going to use political activity to attain more for bikes
3. If you oppose us in any way you do not want to save the world

They suppose that anything and everything they want is right and that if you oppose them in any way you are Wrong.

I say lets let Portland and ORegon decide.

Lets put some of this idiotic things up for the voters to have their say on.

Like those silly green boxes. Lets let voters have a say on those. 

Now that would be interesting.

Lets see if Portland and ORegon really loves bikers or are they fed up with them.


Well that's it for today. Have to run.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Great New Idea To End The Bike Issue

Here is the best idea of the week.

 Police should have a monetary incentive to ticket bikers. Some reason for them to give a ticket to every bike they see cutting across the street without a signal, riding without lights, going the wrong way on the street or running a stop sign. 


Here is how you do it. 


Anyone over 18 on a bike who commits a road violation has to pay double the fine. That extra money goes directly to a 50/50 split. Half to the city and half directly to the police department for increased Police patrols. Now that would be awesome. If the police made more money and could use that money to write more tickets what a great day it would be.

 Lazy ass bikers (AKA MOST OF THEM) would soon be taking Tri-met, Max or walking. 

 I love the idea that everyone attacks my poor command of the English Language but no one challenged me on my number of bikers with lights on going over the bridge? Wow I wonder why people who tell me that bikers breaking the law is a myth don't want to take up that challenge? Do they really think more bikers would have lights? I still say cars will beat them hands down.

 Interesting emails this week. Getting called all sorts of names and one threat. Sorry I had to come to your country and take your jobs. Maybe if you were not showing up late for work because you are on a bike I would not be doing your job.

 The real point is many of these idiotic detractors just what to jibber jabber. None of them have any real points. 

 Two Emails I get the most.

 1. Your kind of talk is not going to open a dialog 


2. the Die Bitch Die

 Some times it's in the same email.

 My problem is how can you start a dialog with a side that believe that they alone are going to save the world and you are on the side of killing the world with gas cars. 


Where is the middle ground? where could you start there?

 How can you start a dialog with people who excuse every violation by stupid bikers with what amounts to nothing more then an updated version of "he who smelt it, dealt it?"  (Thanks to my wonderful boy friend for that one.

 Just like "he who smelt it dealt it" they are trying to excuse their many transgression by pointing back at those who challenge them and saying "look you did it" or "It's your fault" 

 You cannot have a dialog with that person at all. Cannot be done.

 Some take offense to my use of Bikenazi. I think it's great, I love it. Sure I come from a nation that fought with the Axis so I know a little bit about Nazi's. I also lived in a country where Bikes are every place (Holland) My Dutch friends came to visit last Christmas and we drove around town. They thought Portland bikers were awful based on what they saw. Prompting one of my favorite lines "Don't they know they could die?"  All I could do was shake my head.

 When the Dutch are on your case about your biking you are low on the food chain. 

 While in Holland I can only remember maybe three times in two years having an issue with a bike I thought was risky or dangerous. I get that in a month in Portland.

 It is the arrogance of Portland bikers that makes them believe that Right of Way is more important then surviving.

 It is the apologist for anything Bikers do wrong.

 It is those that believe that biking is a crusade to save the world and that all who oppose them are morally wrong. (Sort of like a religious war lead by ST. Trek)

 It is those that respond to any criticism with a counter attack to justify their breaking the law in great numbers.

 The above people are those that scream for "dialog" and "Compromise" and "Lets talk this out"

 These are just gifted children who need to be spanked and put to bed...(not in a good way)

 They fear any voice that challenges the orthodoxy of their religious belief in bikes as the holy savior of human kind.

 This week I will bike to work and keep track of all the bad biking I see.

 I hope you all survive the next week, If you get hit, oh well you have it coming. Keep an eye out for red bikes.