Friday, July 25, 2008

Red Bike / Bike Lights


I was just thinking of a good way to show how stupid bikers are.  Every day I pass a white bike where some one was killed and I thought today "That's it" I should make a red bike and when a biker without lights, helmet or who broke some law was killed I will put up a red bike. 

Better yet anyplace bikers do stupid things I will put up a red bike. Where they ride three abreast in a bike lane made for one. Where they run lights and stop signs and where they are biking without lights..... wait that's everyplace!!! 

I would have to put red bikes on every corner. Portland would fill up...hmm what to do.

Hey I could make a red bike stickers. Drivers and walkers would just stick them places bikers are idiots. White bikes could be covered up with red bike stickers. That would be great! Biker comes down the one way street the wrong way then pulls into their favorite brew pub, you could walk over and put a red bike sticker on his seat. 

I like this idea. Red Bikes for Stupid bikers.

The other idea was red bike locks. When A biker does something stupid you follow them and when they park to go shopping on 20th at the new seasons or any place stupid bikers (lets just call them bikers) go you lock up their bike with a bright red lock.

Now that is some ass kicking social action. I like that. 

Can you just hear the crying. They would be so pissed they would smash the window out of any car they could get their hands on. 

Red Stickers and Red Locks 

Man that is funny.


So here is a challenge.

This will determine if you are bikeidiot or not.

What is a bikeidiot? Well a bikeidiot is some one uses the "Were saving the world" angle to justify everything they want as being right and any opposition to their demands as evil. It also means you are an apologist (man I like that word, only in english do you get such a nice word)
for bikes. This person admits to bikers shortcomings but again uses the (You have to see the big picture)

On the opposite side of this argument is the Smart Person. To the smart person you cannot say that bikers are not breaking laws when you can show them they are and doing so far more then say UPS trucks, Gas Delivery Trucks, Motorcycles, Vans or Electric Cars.


So I stand on the bridge say the hawthorn bridge at night and watch the bikes go over along with the cars.

How many Cars will have no light on? how many bikers will have no lights on?

What are the ratio of lighted to unlighted. 

Well I'm going to do this on sunday. When I say I'm going to do this I mean my minion who is a burly guy who won't mind standing out on a bridge alone, at night, with a camera and a clipboard counting.

So my minion will stand out there and count.

What will his outcome be?

If the first thought through your head is "Bikes will blow this one big time" You are a Smart Person. 

If your response is one of the following.

1. It doesn't matter
2. Bikers will fail at this but...
3. This doesn't prove anything.

Or any one of the number of excuses bikers use then you are a Bikeidiot (see special work for Portland Bikers) 

So that's my rant for the week. 

Red Locks, Red bike stickers and    Bikers not following the law.


Remember Bikeidiots: "It ain't going to matter if you are dead who had the right of way, You are still dead"


here is to a bike free future. 



11 comments:

Furyfairy999 said...

This has got to be the stupidest shit i have ever read. How many laws and stupid things do drivers and pedestrians do? It has nothing to do with bikers, or drivers, or bussers or pedestrians, people just do stupid shit sometimes. There is no excuse for bikers not having lights or not wearing helmets, but a lot of bikers do the best they can to follow the laws and be safe, just like most drivers. I don't care who you are, or what your chosen form of transportation is we all need to learn to appreciate the difficulties that people useing other forms of transportation deal with and need to learn to be more respectful and patient with each other. There will always be some idiot biker without a light or an idiot driver or thier cell phone or idiot pedestrian crossing the street at a stupid time. Seriously, just get over it.

Wiley said...

Cool. Sounds like a great idea! You do that and I'll put up an upside-down cross everywhere a driver does something stupid! Gosh, we could just litter the city with red bikes and upside-down crosses. It'll be great!

Glad to see you're using the internet for what it was intended for, spouting off ignorant ideas anonymously! Well done. Maybe next time you can actually look up what being a Nazi means, although that might take some research you obviously don't want to do.

Anyway, good luck on your anger issues. Oh and on your undertaking as well. (You probably should work on the anger issues first.)

Anonymous said...

I am really sorry I ever clicked on this blog - I wish I could just erase the visit I made. I probably shouldn't even humor you with a comment but the whole site is wrong on so many levels - not just grammatically, which just shows how lazy you are, but with the sheer hatred you're showing. There's no attempt to start reasonable or helpful dialogue, or help educate people who use ANY form of wheels (when are you going to start taking on the skateboarders, I wonder?) Is any one of us perfect when we're driving anything? Or even walking? And your use of the bikenazi word is vile and heinous (you might want to look that word up). It's like having Rush Limbaugh in Portland. It's people like you that make me glad that gas is at $4.50 a gallon. I hope it goes even higher for you.

Proud American said...

I agree with you on bikes, but sorry to see you are yet another scum sucking half english-literate "immigrant" (i.e. welfare using or job stealing p.o.s.)

Like the blog, but please gtfo of my country and post from wherever the hell you are supposed to be. I'm sure there are idiot bikers to rail about there. After all, it's Europe, original home of the Nazis AND bikes.

styrofoamtuna said...

Never seen anyone die from being hit by a bike. Hit by a car is another story. Laws don't always make sense, and supposedly liberty is important around here.

We all have the freedom to make poor choices, but ragging on folks who are biking with no lights is pissing in the wind. Lets work on getting 24 hour, free public transit in this city, and we can all worry less about bikers and drivers who can't be bothered to focus on the task at hand.

Paul Peterson said...

Riding with no lights at night is stupid, but not wearing a helmet is just a choice. Wearing a helmet to me says "I expect to be hit by a car, or fall down." Well I wear a helmet when I ride a mountain bike because I expect to fall at some point. It happens when you engage in risky activity. Putting around on a quiet street is not dangerous, therefore your argument that not wearing a helmet seems stupid, unless of course you are engaging in stupid activity or taking unnecessary risks. The helmet industry and children's safety initiatives drive our fear into making us think we need to wear a helmet at all times. Fuck, maybe pedestrians should wear helmets when crossing the street! It's the same argument.

Anonymous said...

You need to see Therapist. You are filled with hate. I almost feel sorry for you. I understand your frustration. The world isn't perfect. It never will be. The problem I see on both sides, is that people have nothing better to do than complain. All they do is complain and never do anything to improve themselves. The improvement starts within ourselves. I drive and I bike. I love both. I follow the law while doing both because it makes me feel better. It's happiness and bliss that drives me to biking or driving. I see drivers, bikers, and pedestrians break the "law" often, but I don't let it bother me or possess me to the point of wasting time and energy on it. It just isn't worth it. YOu can't change the world and you shouldn't let the world change you. Peace be with you. I hope you find peace within yourself.

Anonymous said...

Thank GOD someone in Portland has a brain and can see the bike culture in this town for what they really are: a bunch of law breaking hypocrites who can't take responsibility for their own behavior. I bike to work daily and my close calls are almost ALWAYS with other bikers. The vitriol aime at you (and the excuses aimed at you) are proof of just how sad the PDX bike actually is.

Wanna be a PDX biker? Break any law you want and go "Boo Hoo! At least I'm not in a car".

Anonymous said...

I like the red sticker idea.

Thomas said...

First off, welcome to Portland, I'm sure you have been as accepted here as you seem to have accepted us... You seem to like lists so I'm going to make you a list;
1. Your sticker idea needs to be pointed at everyone who uses any form of transportation, crazy assholes on the bus, total speed freaks in their cars and even bikes.
2. The thought of you putting a red sticker that said anything about being an idiot on a memorial bike is repulsive and shows that you have no sense of compassion or love for anyone but yourself. And if I ever see someone doing something of that nature I will punch them square in the face, girl or guy, big or small. My brother was killed on his bike.
3. You have no place condemning anyone for not listening or for being irrational, you do exactly what you're criticizing, if someone doesn't see exactly eye to eye with you they are a moron, or a "bike-Nazi".
4. You are just a hateful, bitter person who has nothing better to do than to try and stop progress.
5. Tunnel vision...
6. You could greatly benefit from taking a chill pill and just letting people act as they may and not let it ruin your day... It shows us just how petty and small you really are.
To finish this off, I think you need to take a good look at yourself and stop posting blogs about how much you hate someone because they aren't exactly like you, that is true Nazism...

Anonymous said...

You are clearly a person who needs counseling; you have anger issues that go way beyond the norm. There are some bike riders who think they are a law unto themselves, but that's a very poor excuse for going after bike riders in general, the vast majority of whom are responsible adults. You should also work on your grammar and punctuation, which are absolutely horrible. It's really hard to take rambling crazy shit seriously when the writing is so bad.